Pray for Help

When the 911 emergency call system was first introduced to Texas, it changed everything -even our addresses. My address changed without me even moving. My physical address changed from a 2-digit number to a little more awkward four-digit number. I like the number twenty better than 1624 so I have kept “20” on the side of my house in open rebellion for 15 years now. Because my wife is more compliant and much more sweet, she put “1624” on the other end. That pretty much sums up the Brewer house.

Just like that, I used to live in the country, now I live in the city. Again I didn’t move anywhere, everybody moved to me. I hope the last Yankee from Michigan doesn’t forget to turn off the lights.

Anyway, 911 has been a very successful funnel for all things emergency related and I appreciate the dispatchers that do their jobs well. We’ve all heard horror stories about the cases of rude and indifferent dispatchers that wouldn’t respond properly but those are few and far between. If you do a web search you can find loads of examples of how outright stupid many of us callers are and this is something that goes on every day of the week.

The following examples are supposed to be true; I have no trouble believing it one bit.

Dispatcher: 911- what is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

You are very aware that the Brewer is a highly caffeinated Christian. This kind of outburst leads me to serious prayer.

“Lord, help this Lady focus when our neighbors are being shot. Help her realize the dispatcher will never ask what kind of fashion statement she is making when in a gun battle. Help all of us, Lord, to overcome our self-conscience sence of appropriate fashion when the bullets are flying. Amen”

A Dad That’s Bad Mad

Sometimes any of us can just go brain-dead, especially when we are in panic mode. Sometimes in the heat of the alarm, we lash out at the very people trying to help us. Here’s a good example:

Dispatcher: 911- what's the nature of your emergency?

Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

Lets all hit our knees together.....

“Lord, help my comatose friend pull himself together long enough to realize the dispatcher is not mistaking him for his other infant. Help him to realize that the dispatcher is not the idiot involved in this conversation. And help him, Lord, to not wait until his wife’s contractions are 2 minutes apart before he takes action the next time. We love ya Lord. Amen”

Just Plain Strange

Dispatcher: 911 - what is your emergency?

Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

Dispatcher: Excuse me?

Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

Caller: No, but this has happened to me before, and I'm sick and tired of it!

This sounds like my father in law. I am considering fasting while praying for this guy.

“Lord Protect us because he is out there among us. You know I believe in your resurrection power and I pray that you touch him from the neck up. In Jesus name Amen.”

A Senior Moment

Dispatcher: 911 - what is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine one one?

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am, nine one one and nine eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Ok, now look. It’s not this ladies fault the world has changed a million times since her youth. Who among us can keep up with moving technology and the ever-changing language on how to articulate it? This old Lady gets nothing but a pass and prayer from me.

“Just bless her Lord. It’s frustrating when you think no one is interested in your generation and you are expected to know everything about their generation. Wherever she is at today, I pray you smile on her and bless her big. In your name we pray. Amen”

Call for Help

God’s Hot Line for immediate help is simply 333. Jeremiah 33:3 to be precise. I encourage you to look to the mountain from where you help comes from, as the Bible says. And if you know a dispatcher, give them a hug for me.

“Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” Jer 33:3 KJV

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