This week’s confession from a highly caffeinated Christian comes perking with a feisty rant for true Christianity. As an opinion columnist, I get to cheer on the good guys the way I want. I also get my share of hate mail and thought we’d read one together as I fire back a response reminiscent of Travis to Santa Anna.
“To The Brewer,
...You are an interesting and intelligent person. It bewilders me that someone like you could believe in such nonsense as Christianity.
I have heard it said that it doesn’t matter if you believe in God, but I say it matters because people like you who believe in imaginary beings are delusional. It matters because people who talk to imaginary beings are delusional. It matters because people who believe in imaginary superstitions like prayer are delusional. You and people like you, worry me.
You answer non-relevant issues but never answer questions, like why God doesn’t heal amputees and why Christianity supports slavery? You’ll never answer those questions.
It’s that simple, and that obvious. Your religious belief hurts you personally and hurts us as a species because they are delusional.
You are a smart person. It is time for you to use your intelligence to free yourself from these delusions. It is time for you to begin thinking like a rational human being, rather than clinging to imaginary friends and childhood fantasies.”
Ladies and gentlemen, the rant will now begin.
Dear Dazed and Confused, in the words of the late Ann Landers, “There is a geranium in your cranium.”
Number one, nobody ever asks me those questions because they don’t go to the same liberal websites where you mined those questions. While you accuse me of dishonesty, you’re not even sincere enough to come up with your own gripe. When you spend so much time hating somebody you say isn’t real, who’s delusional?
To answer, I ask you where in the Bible is it promised that if someone looses an arm, God will miraculously grow it back? There are 31,171 verses in a King James Bible, and I am not aware of a single verse that promises a new foot if you fall under a train.
Furthermore, how do you know God has never healed an amputee?
When you say Christianity supports slavery, I think what you mean is the Bible supports slavery. It’s funny to me that non-believers say the Bible supports slavery while those of us that do believe the Bible can see it doesn’t. Maybe you have to actually read the Bible in context and not just a scripture strategically placed on your narrow-minded websites.
Let me ask you a question on this same subject. What are you and your atheist brothers doing to prevent slavery right now? I can tell you what we Christians and Bible believers are doing. None of the slaves in Sudan or the children sexually enslaved throughout the Caribbean are hoping the atheists of the world will unite and help them.
I have personally bought human beings in Mexican trash dumps and in northern Uganda. I bought two teenage girls in Costa Rica to bring them out of a brothel and into the care of a church in San Jose. I did that for the same reason you do nothing: my belief in Jesus. My Christian faith spurs me to take action.
When you say our religious beliefs hurt us and humanity as a whole, I know you are smoking mental crack.
I have been to India many times where there is a Hindu temple on every corner but never a hospital or an orphanage. It’s Christians that go there and build those things.
I have been to the Middle East where there is a mosque on every corner and have never seen a single women’s shelter, or an orphanage or old folks’ home. No Christianity, no humanity – go figure.
Do you know that despite the overwhelming wealth of the Roman Empire, the Egyptian Empire, the Babylonian Empire and the Syrian Empire, they never did anything for the betterment of others?
In all the world’s study of great nations, there has never been found one single example, through inscription or archeology, that these societies had one single hospital, housing for the poor, a food bank, an orphanage, an old folks’ home, not even one single college or university. Nations never had any of these things until the Bible got into the hands of the common people, and Christians began acting like Christians. What you call delusional is in fact Life and Life more abundantly.
To this day, there has never been an atheist who put together a Constitution that gives the people power. Where are the lines of examples of atheists clothing the naked, healing the sick, helping the poor and encouraging the people to do great things?
Every good thing in this country has happened and will happen because of people that follow the teaching of Jesus Christ or non-believers who adhere to civilization that was brought on through the teachings of Christ.
So on behalf of Christians everywhere sir, enjoy your freedom, your education and civilization in general. On my personal behalf, and in the words of the prophet Flo from Mel’s dinner, “Kiss my grits!”
Contact the Brewer at www.FreshFromTheBrewer.com
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