Thursday, November 29, 2007

Tis’ the Season to Gain Pant Sizes

The Brewer has always been a bit on the plump side. When I graduated High School back in 1985, I weighed 230 pounds. About 15 years later I weighed about 340. The height of my obese-related depression came when I spent big money for a digital scale and literally cracked the LCD when I stepped on it.

I have never really considered myself too fat until recently. I just figured I was about four feet too short. Stupid cigarettes stunted my growth before God delivered me from Marlboro Country.

It wasn’t until the bad dreams started that I really wanted to loose weight. There’s the one dream I got so fat they projected movies on the backside of my white pants. There’s the other where the Post Office gave me my own zip code. Oh, it was terrible.

I do a lot of public speaking outside of my usual pulpit for Christian and non-Christian events. Usually, it’s people who have read the column or one of my books. There is typically an awkward moment where the invitee tries to hide his or her look of disappointment over my face being made for radio. They all get over it.

The complete pinnacle of my fatness and what gives me my own wing in the fat peoples hall of shame, came last January. I sing and play guitar in a Christian southern rock band called Joshua Rising. (www.JoshuaRising.com) Our manager came over from England to introduce us to a famous music mogul and organizer of the biggest Christian music venue west of the Mississippi.

We flew out to San Jose California and met him at a restaurant on Monterey Bay. The gentlemen did agree to set us up with the three biggest agencies in the United States but he added, “Your fat, and fat people are not marketable.” I began to choke on my scallop.

“You think so?” I asked sheepishly. “Do I really have to look like I am 16 and weigh 140 pounds?” He put his fork down, scanned my silhouette and said, “Frankly, if I paid money to see you, I would want my money back.”

Well it’s a good thing I’m saved because I instantly had visions of throwing him to the seals.

I have had some temporary success in dieting and diet plans from time to time but not any real long-term solutions. I weigh about 290 today and am on the downward turn once again.

I say all of that to say this. If you struggle in your weight or really with any long-term issue, I recommend hope in the Lord. When you’re a Christian, it just makes sense to hope for better things in any part of your life. I would love to wake up tomorrow and be miraculously thin but odds are its probably going to require God-given discipline and character to walk in that kind of a miracle.

That’s the thing about true victorious living. Either your character gets you to the upgrade you are looking for, or it keeps you there once you’ve arrived. We are all looking for some kind of spiritual lottery to hit big for all of us but I believe God is looking for us not to loose what he wants to gives us.

So none of us get a “get-out-of-jail-free” card when it comes to having the character and discipline required for that next level. God help us all to get up from the table and drive past the red neon light at Krispy Kreme.

“What is the use (profit), my brethren, for anyone to profess to have faith if he has no [good] works [to show for it]? Can [such] faith save [his soul]?” James 2:14 (Amplified Bible)

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